“Do not believe everything you think”.
-Byron Katie
Since I’m not one to sit back after 30 years of effort and say, “Try harder,” I decided to look into this private realization. As it happens, this “you are in charge of your thoughts” statement is not entirely true. But you already knew.
What we CAN control is our response to these thoughts. But these thoughts appear spontaneously. You can deliberately think of a statement or affirmation, sure, but what gave you the idea to think of it? Say oh! It is understood. It just showed up, right?
Jung had a term called the Collective Unconscious; the Vendata Community has a term, “the causal body.” They both explain that thoughts come from SOMEWHERE (call it God, Reality, or the Great Beyond), but they don’t originate FROM YOU. You are BEING thought!
You will notice that you are digesting food and taking in air in the same way. It’s just happening. Your agreement to these processes is not required. It will happen with or without your vote. Sit down for a moment and notice this.
So what’s my point?
Well, I had, er, a THOUGHT ‘went in’ that suggested I write an article about this for you; to allow others to have access to this same perception. At this point, this information may seem like TERRIBLE news, because you apparently have no control over your thoughts. But isn’t this realization also a kind of liberation?
If you are not the thinker, you can simply observe the thoughts and decide (you still have free will) which ones to respond to emotionally or physically. So you can have a feeling or perform an action. Or you can dismiss the thought altogether.
Byron Katie of “The Work” fame bases her entire show on this premise. She tells us that every stressful thought is a lie. Doesn’t that sound INSULTANT at first glance? But what she means is that if the thought disturbs us, it is not true. It goes against reality or our own truth or both.
“I’m too fat and ugly” might be a thought that pops up when you look in the mirror. That’s right? Are you really TOO fat? Are you considered ugly by everyone? Even your dog? Well, maybe you could lose some weight, but you are currently as big or small as you are. It’s just a fact. You are alive and appear to be mobile (you walked in front of a mirror, right?), so perhaps the definition of fat is subjective. Are you REALLY grossed out by yourself or are you trying to program your vision to match some social opinion that is repeated a lot on TV and in nightclubs?
If the circumstances were different and you were on a desert island with no food, are you too fat now? Or is he properly equipped to withstand isolation until help arrives (compared to his size 5 friend who definitely won’t make it through the first month?).
Yes, yes, I hear you. You think this is crazy and it will keep you alone and judged by your neighbors and co-workers if you adopt this new way of looking at thoughts. These various people who walk around noticing your clothes, your hair, and your butt (and seem to be very important to you, maybe more important than YOU). They really are focused on YOU, aren’t they? Well, since he’s been trying to please them since he was about 12 years old, and hasn’t really lived up to it consistently, if ever, what does he say? the ones that randomly enter yours?
Because I have to tell you, it’s actually a lot of FUN watching them come and go all day. And knowing that I can decide which one to attend to and which one to ignore makes me feel VERY in charge, not out of control. How about I try it my way?
it is just a thought….
“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It is not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attachment to a thought means to believe that it is true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we have been attaching to. to, often for years.” – Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)