The biggest dilemma for most men when trying to meet and date women online is: how do you get them to respond to you, to start talking to you?
Let’s first take a look at how bad messages in a woman’s profile inbox tend to be. Attractive women get about 20-50 messages a day, which are pretty much ALL the same (they fall into the three categories I describe below) that annoy her the hell out of it. This is a big fat thing NOT to do:
- You can tell a woman she’s pretty or an angel or whatever, but doing that will just make her think: how many women have you used this on already? It’s letting her know that you didn’t even take the time to READ her profile! Or she will feel that her interest is superficial (he likes her for the way she looks) and not genuine (he likes her for who she is, her personality). Being superficial KILLS attraction.
- You can tell a woman that you’re probably not here, but that you’d love to talk to her sometime, which means I’m already writing myself off and I think I’m WAY out of her league in her language. He is acting insecure and desperate. Being desperate or insecure RUINS your chances.
- You can tell a woman she’s hot and she should add you to [email protected], but guess how many of those 50 other messages say that? Guess how needy and desperate you’re going to be, and why would she add a stranger to her IM or worse still call him? Being needy cripples your chances of getting his number.
All of this will NOT work, because you are telling him the wrong kinds of things, and you are not talking to him because of who he is, but because of how he looks. The best way to get him to respond to your message is, drum roll, by talking to him about who he is. But how? I always, 24 hours a day, use THEIR hobbies, interests, likes, passions and activities to create attraction by joking about it. I let her know that I’m selective, that I’m a playful guy, and that I’m not afraid to challenge her for who she is, all at the same time. In short: let the accusations begin! Of course, you will start to wonder why.
Why are taunts so effective?
There are a number of psychological reasons why it’s as effective as it really is, and I’d like to share them with you so you know WHY you’re doing what you’re doing and WHY it works.
- I’m joking with accusations (see examples below) and what is the most logical response to an accusation? Arguing your case, in fact, studies have shown that we are DRAWN to explain ourselves when accused of something, thus triggering a response due to human nature itself!
- Most men are intimidated by a woman’s appearance and will hesitate to approach her or not at all. In addition, they will try to do everything for her and will be very sweet to like her, in short: her goal is to please. Third, many men are NERVOUS when they are physically around women: they feel uncomfortable, restless, their body is tense.
- But guess what happens when you make fun of her? You will show that you are NOT intimidated by her appearance and you are NOT afraid to show interest in her. You are NOT trying to be someone else just to make her like you more or agree with everything she says, likes you, and likes all those guys who don’t kiss. You are also showing him that you are comfortable with women, yourself with women, you are joking and relaxed (almost TOO relaxed). All of these are attractive qualities in a man.
- Now when you accuse her you first tease her jokingly which is so much fun, it’s exciting and she’ll want to play the game MORE (and will start picking on you and accusing YOU for it). Along with this, women have always been the most selective of the sexes. Because? Because men aren’t at any risk when they have sex (except for STDs of course), but women? Women run the risk of GETTING PREGNANT: being unstable and limited in their moments for a long period of time, in addition to having a child after which one must also take care of. What if a woman allowed herself to give in to all the men who try to seduce her? She would A) not have a life, B) be constantly pregnant making it increasingly difficult for her and the increasing number of children to survive and C) not all men are born equal as such a woman will want a guy with genes that offers the best chance of survival for its offspring. So women NEED to be selective, they need to select the best mate possible or humanity would die off pretty quickly. But when YOU are the one to select with your accusations, magical things start to happen: suddenly YOU are perceived as the object of desire, YOU are sought out and harassed by women who want to mate making things difficult for you. to have a life. We want what everyone else has, because if everything else wants it, then it MUST be good, right? Are you sub-communicating that you are incredibly good at taunting, challenging, and accusing her, and since women want men with good genes? They will want YOU!
examples
- I looked at your profile and noticed that you like spaghetti, but you are NOT from Italy. Tell me: you are NOT one of those suit-wearing, smart-talking, gel-styling would-be groomsmen, right? What are they looking for you for? Tell me! π
- I looked at your profile and noticed that you like horses, and I’m a little curious because I don’t usually spend a lot of time with jockeys, so it’s TRUE, jockeys get a firmer *SS from ALL that riding in the saddle. ? π
- I looked at your profile and noticed that you have BLUE eyes but DARK hair, which is an ABSOLUTE freak of nature, never happens! π That makes me wonder, tell me, you are a DUMB BLONDE by nature, aren’t you? (IN)
I can hear you thinking: yes, but that would take AGES to do, right? MISTAKEN! You just have to know what to look for in their profile, and this is what you should be looking for:
- As soon as you get to her profile and see that she’s kind of cute, just pay attention to her hobbies, likes, dislikes, etc. there is EVERYTHING in the Interest section (or in its Description). You can recognize the Interest area of ββhis profile by looking for where he answers things like Hobbies: hobby 1, 2, 3 and Music: artist 1, CD 2, etc.
- As soon as you’ve found a couple of things you could go with, find the one that’s easiest to tease her about: let’s say she has shopping, cooking, and tae bo as her interests and you only know tae bo, make things as easy as possible possible. possible for you and joke about THAT: so I was looking at your profile again and saw that you like tae bo, getting into shape by punching and kicking during the day. So be honest here: How many exes have you secretly hit on and should I sleep with one eye open when I meet you personally? :P. She is accusing her of being an abusive girlfriend, aggressive lover, etc. Why go for the easiest? Let me explain…
What is a highly predictable response to an accusation? A defense: nooo I’m not like that hahaha or that’s so false! you’re so bad, those kind of answers. And an easy way to continue the most common answer is: all I hear is a GUILTY conscience telling you about a LIAR! π just admit it: you are a threat to all the boyfriends you have π which will amplify the attraction even more. You will see? That’s already a second message right there.
The Final Step: Get Their Contact Information
In the end, women need to feel comfortable and safe enough around you to take the next step with you. You need to be a trustworthy man and you can make sure she feels that way by CONNECTING with her. Why is it so important to connect with her? Because if you’re just accusing, sooner or later she’s going to think that she doesn’t stand a chance. This is because you are positioning yourself as more dominant than her (you are the object of desire, she is not. You are the all-powerful accuser, the judge, and she is the defender, the underdog in judgment).
Do you understand what this means?
It means that playing TOO rough will make her think you’re out of her league, no seriously, it will!
So connect with her. As?
I’ll switch it up and continue the topic in a way that builds a connection, in the case of the tae bo girl I would continue with the tae bo (how does it make her feel to do it, what’s important to her about getting fit, at what level of Tae Bo exercises, etc.).
You will see? Finding what is easiest for you to talk about (because you can think of multiple things to joke about and connect around that topic) leads to full conversations online, and when you message back and forth like this for about 4-5 posts long? Then it’s easy to say: I have to go now, so why don’t you give me your number, because then we can continue this conversation on the phone tomorrow. There you have it: you got yourself a number.
Something like that will work fine. If you look closely, you’ll see that I’m STILL talking about EMOTIONS (how does she make you feel about her?). Because? Because attraction is based on a feeling, on EMOTIONS and not on logical things and rational thinking, that’s BORING. So I always avoid talking about logical things and constantly involve emotions, put some humor here and there, joke with her about her response in the next message, and so on. One last IMPORTANT thing to do is: always make sure YOU are having fun too, because if you’re not having fun while learning to meet and date women online, then why do it in the first place?