The difference between a trait and a habit

A “Habit” is a habitual way of behaving. It is the starting point of all behaviors. All features and design are habits. Habits are usually born from necessity (we have to achieve a goal), or from a desire (we want to achieve a goal).

Most of the time, negative traits arise as a result of need, not desire. Sometimes, however, using a negative trait when approaching a wish itself becomes a negative trait.

As we grow, we encounter situations and circumstances that are new to us. Since we don’t have a reference point (information we gather from past experiences that helps us deal with these events), we are left with two basic options.

Option A: We seek advice.

We turn to those around us for guidance. Someone who has been in a similar situation and handled it before. Our goal at this point is to try to use your reference point to handle our situation. When we decide to follow that advice, if we are successful, their benchmark becomes our benchmark. After a while, a habit has been created. A way to handle future similar situations.

The only thing you need to keep in mind when using this option is the following quote…

“Insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

Albert Einstein

When you choose this option, remember that you are essentially creating a habit that, over time, will become a trait. Make sure your definition and the other person’s definition of “success” are the same. Your goal is to resolve the situation. Don’t avoid it.

Option B: We use the trial and error method.

This method consists of looking for and using different ways to handle the situation. However, there is a right way and a wrong way to use this option. The right way to stay goal oriented. In Transformational Support, this method is commonly known as the “Focus, Inquiry and Action” (FRA) method.

What this allows you to do is remain buoyant, focused, and determined until the situation is resolved. The goal is not only to get a useful benchmark, but also to prevent you from creating negative habits like…

A- Cover up the problem

B-Pretend the problem will go away on its own

C-Running away from the problem

DA combination of two or more of these.

These habits have great potential to become negative habits (a habitual way of behaving that results in a negative outcome). A short time later, they can become negative traits (a quality that separates one person from another and usually has a negative result).

The specific type of habit we create (negative or positive), will mature into a negative or positive trait. Once this happens, and a trait is created, you must first break the trait down into a habit before replacing it with a better habit.

That said, I must tell you that changing habits is faster and easier than changing traits. However, most people seem to be under the impression that changing a trait is much more difficult than it really is. Changing a habit or a trait is not easy but it is not that difficult either.

Of course, depending on the nature of the habit or trait, the amount of time it takes to change it can vary. But not the amount of effort. In other words, it’s your consistency (the amount of time you spend changing a trait or habit) that changes, not how hard you work at it.