Let’s not forget that God allowed divorce in the Old Testament because of the “hardness of heart” of people. Does this mean that Jesus was describing the ideal, what we should all aspire to, but the Old Testament was describing God’s understanding of practical reality in a fallen world?
I dare not explain what he meant by that, but Jesus himself said of his teaching on divorce: “Not everyone can receive this word, but only those to whom it has been given…” (Matthew 19:11 ).
And even if you have a soft heart, your partner may not.
On the other hand, even in the Old Testament, the Lord says that He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), so one would think that at least one spouse in a divorce, but not necessarily both, would be grieving the heart of another. God.
If you are hurt by the way your partner treats you, God’s heart breaks, as he did seeing his Son being tortured to death. Our wonderful Lord would rather suffer himself than see you suffer. However, the undeniable reality of God’s extreme compassion does not by itself indicate whether cruelty is grounds for divorce or even separation. We must weigh the fact that the following clearly applies to women with less than godly husbands:
1 Peter 3:1 Wives, in the same way be subject to your husbands, so that if any of them does not believe in the word…
Furthermore, this Scripture is found in the same letter that repeatedly speaks of the importance of physical suffering for Christ, telling slaves to submit even to harsh masters.
Just as with the suffering of Jesus, there are times when eternal is achieved rather by our short-term suffering than by having an easier life.
divorce? Do you know someone divorced and remarried who seems greatly blessed by God and mightily used by him? You’ve probably also heard of men of God whom the Lord seemed to treat that way even though they repeatedly engaged in secret sex outside of marriage. Is your sin a license for others to act that way? Who knows what devastation those people will experience when they stand naked before their Judge? Despite all the mighty things they’ve done in the name of Jesus, will they get a “I never knew you. Get away from me, evildoers!” (Matthew 7:22-23)? God temporarily withholding wrath from him, as he did even with Sodom and Gomorrah for years, is not a basis on which to build moral conclusions.
The Scriptures emphasize the paramount importance of “swearing against one’s own detriment” (Psalm 15:4) – keeping one’s word even when unforeseen circumstances make keeping the promise devastatingly painful and costly (Scriptures).
When getting married, it is standard to promise to remain committed to the couple “until death do us part” or “as long as we both live.” I have not found marriage vows that allow the option “until my partner commits adultery” or “until my partner marries someone else”. Perhaps the votes should have been worded differently. However, the vows you made, not the ones you wish you had made, are the ones you have committed to.
Does this mean that even if God had allowed you to remarry, the very vows you made voluntarily have canceled that permission? Have you, by your vow, obligated yourself before God to remain faithful to your spouse “as long as you both live,” regardless of what he or she does?
“What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). But who exactly is that “God has joined”? It cannot be just those who have had a church wedding because in Biblical times there was no such thing as a church wedding. The Scriptures apply this biblical truth that two become one flesh even to a fleeting, sinful encounter with a prostitute (1 Corinthians 6:15-16). It may be that “what God has joined” [or what God declares to be one flesh] it applies to every sexual encounter, no matter how contrary to God’s will that relationship may be.
Could it be similar to Joshua and his nation, who were tricked into making a covenant with people God had declared must be destroyed? The Israelites had been cheated, they were sorry and it was completely contrary to God’s will, but simply because they had made a covenant, it was so binding in God’s eyes that he insisted that they (Joshua 9) and even later generations (2 Samuel 21:1-9,14), must keep that covenant in its entirety. Other nations were so angry with these people for selling out to the Israelites that they gathered their armies to destroy them. This seemed like an ideal opportunity for the Israelites to eradicate their past error. Without lifting a finger against these swindlers, the Israelites could let the pagans annihilate them, as God had originally intended. But instead, the Lord insisted that they fight to protect those with whom they had made a covenant. And to help, the Almighty even made the sun stand still (Joshua 10:1-15). There is biblical evidence that God views sex as entering into a binding covenant.
Could it be that a major factor behind God being so strict about who he has sex with is that he sees sex as bringing people together in a bond that should never be broken, no matter how much God wishes it never happened?
One of the themes that weaves through the Scriptures is that God is moved to treat us as we treat others. In Luke 6:37-38 Jesus lines up one example after another:
* Do not judge, and you will not be judged.
* Do not condemn and you will not be condemned.
* Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
* Give, and it will be given to you…
Here are some other examples:
Psalm 18:25 To the faithful you show yourself faithful…
Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the merciful, for mercy will be shown to them.
Galatians 6:7… God cannot be mocked. Each one reaps what he sows.
In addition to the above, we know that the Scriptures see a close similarity or link between marriage and our relationship with God. Let’s combine these two truths and see where they lead.
No matter how unlikely it may seem to me, it is not impossible that at some point I could fall for a delusion or become so infatuated with sin that I turn my back on my Savior and, as it were, divorce him. I need a God who, if he were stupid enough to do this, would be free to rejoin me, if he later came to his senses. I wouldn’t want God to get so attached to another person that He can no longer accept me. If I had a wife who was unfaithful to me and divorced me against my will, would I dare to remarry, thereby permanently isolating myself from the woman I was engaged to, when it would be the worst thing in my universe that God would have me? will try? in the same way?
Under Old Testament law, several sins incurred the death penalty, including rejection of the true God (for example, Exodus 22:18; Leviticus 20:2,27; 24:16) and certain sexual sins: proven adultery, homosexual acts, bestiality. , incest (eg Leviticus 20:10ff).
We all know that the death of the couple gives freedom to remarry:
Romans 7:2-3 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband while he lives, but if the husband dies, she is free from the law of marriage. Thus, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even if she marries another man.
Of course, the death penalty no longer applies to these sins, but does it reveal a divine principle that if one spouse remains unrepentant of such a grievous sin and is dead to God, the innocent is free to remarry? as I would do it? Was the partner dead? Or is the Old Testament practice irrelevant, since the person is still physically alive?
Even if divorce in certain circumstances were acceptable to God, that in itself might not mean remarriage is acceptable. For example, one should consider this:
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 To married people I give this commandment (not I, but the Lord): The wife does not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain single or reconcile with her husband…”
In marriage vows, love is promised. This is a beautiful, highly Christian concept that is all too often ruined by being confused with the worldly love of romantic fiction. Romantic love can never be promised. It is fickle, fleeting and selfish. It is not a virtue and the only predictable thing is that it will vanish. Instead, the love that can be promised is noble. Inspire all heaven to applaud you. It is a virtue of eternal value.
Ideally, we should marry not for our own pleasure but for the glory of God. Similarly, our decision about divorce should be based not on our comfort, but on what will maximize God’s glory in a difficult situation. Are we driven by what will make us more like Christ, or what will make us more like a bit part on a soap opera?
Just because romantic love fades doesn’t mean it’s time to get a divorce; on the contrary, it is your chance to start earning eternal glory.
Solving the Problems
If you are facing divorce or the prospect of loneliness, I long to comfort you. So it pains me that after reading this web page you initially feel more confused than ever. I felt the need to write down what I did, so that you don’t come to a decision with devastating implications before prayerfully considering all the spiritual issues involved. In addition, we will discover that, as unlikely as it may seem, confusion is the ideal launching pad to shoot us towards the answers we need.
Perhaps the discrepancy between the ideal and God’s response to practical reality explains some of the apparent contradictions in the checklist we just looked at. Another possibility is that some apparent contradictions are due to a misunderstanding of what God is really saying in certain Scriptures. However, could there be some sticking points because we don’t recognize the cost of doing the right thing; forgetting that we are called to follow the One who was tortured to death?
I suggest deferring all critical decisions until you feel confident that what you believe God has revealed as His will for you can be reconciled with the full truth about each item on the checklist above. As you search for God, you may not be given all the answers about how what you believe to be God’s will fits with each item on the checklist, but I suggest you keep searching until you at least feel peace of mind. that such answers exist and that in God’s eyes, their decision fits perfectly with every part of the Bible.
For clarity, you particularly need the final section of this study: