Tips on Language Development for Infants and Toddlers
I am not a psychologist, teacher or speech therapist. I’m just an ordinary mom, who has a lot of things right and a lot of things wrong. But it turns out that I have a 2-year-old son, Joshua, whose language ability is particularly good (not only according to his totally uninterested mother, but also according to some teachers and child development specialists), so I’m often asked questions about how we we ‘did’ that. Of course Garrick (my husband) and I didn’t ‘do it’, Joshua did. And there are a number of factors, from genetics to how slowly he started walking, that could explain his vocabulary and pronunciation skills. However, I have taken some time to consider the way we have handled the language in our home, and this is what I can share.
Start from the beginning
Talk to your children from the very beginning, or rather from the words ‘No way, two lines, I’m pregnant!’ It is well documented that little gummies in the womb acquire language skills, especially the sounds and rhythms of the mother tongue. Garrick used to read complex metaphysical literature ad nauseam, but there’s really no need to go any further than reading his favorite magazine, novel, or even his emails aloud to his fledgling Shakespeare. It is the sound that counts, not the content.
talk talk talk
We talk (and still do) with Joshua all day. Whether he was in the bag like a little creature or in the car seat while Garrick drove, we would explain to him what we were doing (Look, Mommy is adding soap to the water) or what we were watching (It’s windy today, can you please? see those leaves dancing?), no matter how pedestrian. Yes, it feels a little weird talking to a week-old baby, but he assures you that he is listening and will often respond with raised eyebrows or turning his head toward the sound. Later, when he responds with chirps and bubbles of saliva, respect it as his language and treat it as ‘real’ dialogue, complete with questions and facial expressions. Gurgling conversations are wonderful for self-esteem and social skills.
As Joshua gets older, we use more emotional language (I feel sad today because I miss Nanna). This not only gives him a vital vocabulary, which has more than once saved him from a tantrum (after all, if you can explain how you feel, you usually don’t need to show it), it also shows him that adults have the same feelings. he does, and that builds trust.
Parentese vs Boffinese
Before I became a parent, one of my (many) theories was that I would NEVER use the kind of embarrassing baby talk I’ve heard other parents use. There are no icchy-icchy coo-coos in our scholarly house, thank you very much. To my great embarrassment and surprise, a furtive new language escaped my mouth the moment I held Joshua in my arms. He was calling him ninky and noo-noo before we even left the clinic. Well, there goes that theory (probably to the same graveyard that now also has my theories about no mannequins or Panado). My feeling is that parentese, as it’s euphemistically called, is a pretty relaxing sound combination for both parents and kids. It also becomes a very personalized way of bonding because many of the words are invented spontaneously and will be unique to your home.
That said, from the beginning we also talk to Joshua the same way we talk to each other, never replacing ‘mush’ with ‘num-num’, for example, or ‘penis’ with ‘wee-wee’. They are most absorbing at a young age, and the actual word is no more difficult to learn than any other. However, there’s no need to try to raise your speaking level to make your child smart (whatever ‘smart’ means). That won’t be easy or fun, and kids are sniffer dogs for inauthenticity anyway. Just include them in the family conversation with sincere respect.
The sound of the music
Garrick and I often joke that since we’ve had kids, our house has been turned into a musical. We put EVERYTHING to the song (The potty, the potty, a fun place to be; the potty, the potty, is made for your pee). While you may lose some of your fancier friends or neighbors with perfect pitch, your children will sing along to gain a better memory for words and a good sense of rhythm and rhyme in the language. Perhaps most importantly, they’ll see their parents being a little goofy and having fun, which makes them feel like they want to be on the same team as you and, you guessed it, they speak the same language.
nonsense verbiage
Which brings me to the point of making language fun. Helping your children to speak is not a chore or a competitive exercise. If you have that hidden attitude, those little sniffer dogs will find it and mirror it in creative and infuriating ways. It is a pleasure to discover the language and make it yours, show them that with your way of approaching words. I’ve mentioned singing, but the same goes for making up silly poems and nonsense rhymes (Here’s your mash, don’t let it hit your eyelash!) or deliberately messing up (What’s on the end of your leg? Your nose?). ?). Kids LOVE to be a little silly and will learn more easily from adults who can be a little silly too.
Encourage expression, not perfection.
This may be a bit rich coming from me (a linguistic pedant and postgraduate in literature), but the purpose of learning a language is not to develop perfect grammar, but rather to be able to express yourself with precision and magnificence. It doesn’t really matter if your little one breathlessly tells you that he got on a big train and ate a sanrich. wow! He’s sharing his life and his thoughts with you, that’s sacred and something you’ll probably wish he did more of when he’s older. A respectful response to that is to match and mirror his emotion WITHOUT CORRECTIONS from him and simply repeat his sentence using more grammatically correct words: ‘Joshua says he got on a train and ate a sandwich, wow! I can see you’re so excited about it.’ The more confident children feel to speak, the more often they do.
nerd
We had breakfast at an outdoor restaurant this morning and, as usual, we were talking with Joshua about the names of things around us. When we pointed out the shady umbrella covering our table, he told us it was a kite. The automatic response to that is to say ‘No honey, that’s not a kite, that’s an umbrella.’ Fairly innocuous, but deadly. I’m sure any parent knows the effectiveness of any sentence that begins with the word ‘no’ (closed ears, defiance, tantrum if you’re lucky, and withdrawal or embarrassment if you’re not), but more than that, there’s a process of reasoning. to your child’s responses asking for respect. When I looked at that umbrella, I realized that it consisted of some wooden poles arranged with tight material on them, exactly like a kite! Rather than put Joshua down, we congratulate him on noticing that similarity, so he walked away with esteem intact, plus two new words, and most importantly, some associative and comparative skills. Similarly, instead of “No honey, that’s not grandma,” say “Yeah, I can see why you think she’s grandma, she has the same hair color!” Well done for noticing. Now, how can you know that she’s not really Grandma? I would venture to say that when it comes to a daily conversation with his son, it’s never helpful to respond by saying ‘No’ (unless, of course, he really wants you to stop talking!)
city of synonyms
I have never consciously or conscientiously sat down with Joshua to work on his vocabulary (can you imagine anything more boring?). Instead, I just take opportunities within our everyday chats to bring up new and more complicated words. I ‘synonymize’ all the time! ‘Can you see all those people on that bus, love? How many passengers are on that bus? Where do you think all the passengers on that bus are going? Without being ‘teacher’, that is connecting in your mind ‘people on a bus’ with ‘passengers’ and ‘travellers’. And it’s also been great for exercising my own mental muscles.
Questions and answers
We try not to answer any questions for Joshua that he could answer himself. So if he says ‘what’s in that pot, mom?’ I don’t tell him, but I pick up the pot and say ‘What do YOU see in that pot? He helps you find words in his mind and is fantastic for imagination (apparently we have been cooking elephants many times). ‘Where do those people go, dad?’ becomes the question ‘Where do you think those workers might be traveling my son?’ Let it also be known that this technique falls on some occasions. When we’re tired, or sick, or sick and tired, we’ll do whatever it takes to (a) speed up the bedtime journey, (b) create some peace and quiet, and/or (c) keep ourselves sane. That is also allowed.
babbling while bubbling
If you have a particularly active child, who can’t sit still for half an hour any more than I can hop on one leg for half an hour, then it might be challenging to spend a decent amount of time doing things (like reading or talking). ) that develop vocabulary. We have realized the value of bath time in this regard. Up to a certain age, children are a captive audience while in the bath, and as such, they find it easier to follow a story or learn a song because there are no options to run, climb, jump, or crawl. Consider bath time a very special window of opportunity for your child’s language development. From a very young age, we sang two nursery rhymes to Joshua in the bathroom every night (Twinkle, Twinkle, and Incy Wincy Spider) with actions, funny accents, and comical facial expressions. After the millionth repetition (or so it seemed) he started copying us, not necessarily with the words (he was only 6 months old), but with some of the basic movements and sounds. We’ve since added to our repertoire, thankfully, but we still spend most of our time in the bathroom singing or making up stories. If you have more than one adult in the car at a time, the same can be true for the time your child is strapped in the car seat.
In essence, fostering a love of language in your child is much more important than working on the actual skills. The basic recipe for this, as it often is with children, is a foundation of empowerment and respect with a little bit of fun. Final point.