(This is Part 1 of a 5-part series on addiction.)
Almost everyone in our society is addicted to something. addictions
it can take many forms:
SUBSTANCE ADDICTIONS: addiction to alcohol, recreational drugs,
prescription drugs, caffeine, nicotine, food, sugar, carbohydrates.
ADDICTION PROCESS: addiction to love, connection, care,
anger, resistance, withdrawal and activities such as:
television
or Computer/Internet
or Occupation
or gossip
or Sports
oExercise
or sleep
oWork
or make money
or spend money
or bets
o Sex, masturbation, pornography
oShopping
o Accumulate things
or concern
o Obsessive thinking (ruminating)
or self-criticism
or talk a lot
o Talking a lot on the phone
or reading
o Gathering information (if I know enough, I will feel safe)
Meditation
orReligion
or crime
or Danger
or cut themselves
o Glamorous, beautifying
We can use anything as a way to avoid feelings and avoid taking
responsibility for our painful feelings. Whenever we get involved in a
activity with the intention of avoiding our feelings, we are using that
activity as addiction. We can watch TV to relax and enjoy our favorite
programs, or we may watch television to avoid our feelings. We can meditate for
connect with Spirit and center ourselves, or we can meditate to enjoy
and avoid responsibility for our feelings. We can read to enjoy and
learn, or read to escape. Anything can be an addiction, depending on
our intention.
For example, when your intention is to take loving care of yourself and
your work is something you really enjoy, so work is not being used
have an addiction But when the intention is to obtain approval or avoid painful situations
feelings, then the work is being used as an addiction. The same is true for
most of the above behaviors – may or may not be addictions, depending
about your intention.
All of us have a wounded part of us – our wounded self or ego – that
has been programmed with many false beliefs throughout our growth
years. There are four common false beliefs that underlie most
addictions:
1. I can’t with my bread.
2. I am dignified and unpleasant.
3. Others are my source of love.
4. I can have control over how others feel about me and how they treat me.
I CAN’T HANDLE MY PAIN
While this was true when we were little, it is not true as adults, however, many
People act like it’s true. When you think you are incapable
to deal with pain – especially the deep pain of loneliness and
impotence – then you will find many addictive ways to avoid feeling
your bread We are all capable of learning to handle painful situations
feelings in ways that support our highest good, rather than behaving in
addictive ways that hurt us.
Anything you do to avoid taking responsibility for managing your pain is
self-abandonment, which creates even more pain – the deep pain of
loneliness Whether you indulge in substances, processes, or
people, your inner child, which is your emotional self, will feel abandoned
by his choice to avoid responsibility for his feelings. if you had a
real kid who was in pain, and you got drunk instead of being there
for that child, he or she would feel even more pain from the
abandonment. It is exactly the same on the internal level. Addictive
the behavior is self-abandonment and causes the same pain that is
trying to avoid
I AM UNWORTHY AND NOT KIND
When you didn’t get the love you needed as a little kid,
might have concluded that the reason you weren’t loved was because
you were bad, imperfect, flawed, unworthy, unpleasant, or unimportant.
This is the core shame: the false belief that there is essentially something
wrong with you When you adopt this belief, you separate yourself from
your Source, believing that you are worthy of being loved by a Superior
Force.
OTHERS ARE MY SOURCE OF LOVE
You will become addicted to attention, approval, love, sex, or connection.
when you think someone else needs to be your dependent
source of love In this case, you will be abandoning your inner child to
another person, which causes as much pain as abandoning oneself
it has substance. Until you learn to tap into a Higher Power as your source of
love, you will continue to be addicted to people as your source of love.
I CAN HAVE CONTROL OVER HOW OTHERS FEEL ABOUT ME AND
TREAT ME
If you think you can control the feelings and behavior of others,
becoming addicted to various forms of trying to control such as anger,
concept, blame or people-pleasing. When you think you can’t
handle your bread and that others are your source of love, then you want
control over getting that love. This is the cause of the codependency that
underlies most relationship problems.
There is a way to heal from addictions. The rest of the articles in this
The series will address the addiction recovery process.