We all have our love for facial hair and sideburns. He used to sport a long goatee that he had dyed bright red. Yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time. We’ve all seen Dad’s wedding photos, groomsmen with huge mustaches, mutton chop sideburns, and oh my gosh, The Mullet! My dad gave me advice on my wedding day, he said, “Son, get that crap off your face, don’t put a date on your pictures.”
Having thought about this, I think it was some of the best advice I could have received. You want your wedding photos to be timeless.
Sure, Wolverine’s cool and all… but…
Ah, the side of the lamb chop. They look great on Wolverine and Elvis, but do you want them in your wedding photos? When you take your photos in the next few years, will your kids laugh a lot at them?
Dad’s ridiculous facial hair? This goes for beards (do you really want your bride to go through that on their wedding night?), goatees, soul patches, the cool ’80s beard, and the “porn stache” now sported by Brad Pitt. . Keep in mind that you have yours for a movie role. Having facial hair that was cool in a certain era will date your photos, letting people know exactly when you got married and how “cool” you thought you were at the time. You want your photos to be timeless!
Ha ha, daddy had a mullet!
It doesn’t stop at guys with facial hair, oh no. Remember the Faux Hawk, Vanilla Ice lines, and the dreaded Hockey Hair or Mullet! Entire web pages have been dedicated to mullet, do you want your wedding photos to be on a site like this? I did not think! It may have been all business up front and a party in the back, best of both worlds you say? HELL NO!!! I loved the Miami Vice remake so I grew my hair out and a little mustache, found out I was NOT as cool as Colin Farrell and still get made fun of by my wife and friends. I will be forever grateful that this phase came after my wedding. Sure your personality should stand out in all aspects of the wedding, but let’s keep it classy, shall we?
We can help, we have the technology
So how do you tackle head and facial hair? For facial hair I suggest you pamper yourself a bit. On the morning of your wedding, after having had a good breakfast. Head to a predetermined hair salon and get yourself a nice hot towel facial and razor shave. This will ensure baby-bottom softness from your face for your wedding and all the kissing associated there. Even better, have the barber come up to her hotel room.
As for your glorious hair on your head. I suggest cutting your hair in the style you want for the wedding a few weeks before. This ensures that it will look good and you will like the style. Right before the wedding, go back to the same guy and get a cut. Sounds simple, right? Well I cut my hair right before the wedding, it was too short and I look like I have a Marine day pass in my photos. Worse yet, at the right angle to the sun, I look like I’m pretty bald.
Simon’s Brave Boyfriend’s Advice
So just a few things to recap here. Shave that crap off your face, take some time to pamper yourself, and don’t cut your hair before the wedding, just cut it short. Oh, and one more thing, if you decide to dye your hair, give it time to look natural. If your wedding is on Saturday DO NOT dye your mop on Friday night. It will look fake and you may also have runaway dye on your scalp. Nobody wants that.
If you want, you can turn shaving into an outlet for all of your groomsmen. The bridal party does their hair and makeup, why can’t you and your guys get a hot towel facial and a shave? That way, you know that none of your groomsmen will show up with crazy facial hair. Maybe talk to them when you ask them to be at the groom’s party, as some people have a strong bond with their facial hair and may not want to give it up.
You want your photos to be timeless, yes I’ve said that before but I can’t say it enough. You don’t want your kids to pull out your wedding photo album to laugh with their friends, you want them to pull out that album and tell their friends how hot their parents were and especially how good their “Pops” looked. .